Does your dog shrink behind your legs when a new person approaches? Do they hide under the table during a family get-together? Socialising a shy or nervous dog can feel like a tricky business, but it’s one of the most important things you can do for their long-term happiness.
A well-socialised dog is a confident dog, and confidence is the key to a calm and contented canine. So, if your four-legged friend is a bit of a wallflower, here are five gentle and effective ways to help them come out of their shell.
1. Start with a Safe Space

Socialisation isn’t about throwing your dog into the deep end at a busy park. That can be overwhelming and counterproductive. Instead, start in a controlled, calm environment. Invite one person (who your dog doesn’t know) to your home, and ask them to completely ignore your dog. Yes, really! The person should sit down, read a book, and let your dog approach them on their own terms. When your dog does get close, the person can calmly drop a tasty treat on the floor nearby. This builds a positive association without any pressure.
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2. The Power of “Parallel” Walks

Walking your dog is a great opportunity for socialisation, but it’s all about keeping a safe distance. Instead of a direct meeting with another dog, try what’s called a “parallel” walk. Arrange to walk with a friend and their calm, confident dog. Walk along the same path, but far enough apart that your dog doesn’t feel threatened. Over time, you can gradually reduce the distance. This allows your dog to get used to the presence of another dog without the stress of a face-to-face interaction.
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3. Keep It Short and Sweet

When you do expose your dog to a new situation, whether it’s a person or another dog, keep the interaction brief. A few minutes of calm presence is far more effective than an hour of forced interaction. End the session on a positive note. Once your dog has successfully managed a short meeting without showing signs of stress, reward them with praise and a high-value treat. This teaches them that new things lead to good things.
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4. The Magic of “No-Pressure” Play Dates

If you have friends with well-behaved, gentle dogs, a one-on-one play date can be a great way to build confidence. Meet up in a neutral, enclosed space like a secure garden. Let the dogs off the lead and simply let them do their own thing. Don’t force them to play together. A confident dog’s calm presence can be incredibly reassuring for a nervous one. They might just sniff each other, or they might play. Either way, it’s a positive experience.
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5. Become a Treat-Dropping Machine

Every time your dog encounters a new person or another dog on a walk, reward their calm behaviour. If they look at the other person or dog without barking or cowering, drop a treat on the ground. This simple act creates a positive association with the sight of new people and animals. Over time, their brain will start to connect “new thing” with “yummy snack,” which helps them feel more relaxed in social situations.
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